So, I woke up this morning heavyhearted, yet again. I don't like to go into too much detail about things that happen in my daily life, if they are negative. NO ONE LIKES A NAGGING NANCY! (Sorry if any of you are blessed with the name Nancy....I am sorry, total figure of speech, I promise;) Striving not to talk about the bad things and thinking, "Well...if I mention something bad, then I MUST add in something good right?" Hummm....still contemplating this one. So, with this frame of mind... I tend to keep things to a bare minimum. However, today somehow feels different, very different. While I sit here weeping, complaining, and in utter hell, over how things are going in my life....I find myself wanting to shout to the world EVERYTHING that is happening in all it's entirety and somehow hear from someone that I am not alone on this journey. I find myself seeking as much peace as possible because my heart, home, and ....well, everything is in complete chaos. Yet, with it staring me right in the face....I am blind to it.
Seek
gain
understand and
..............................apply
is my motto.
So, why am I not following my own advice here? Am I a Hypocrite or just fed up with seeking, praying, and trying, then not seeing the results I want?
ME ME ME ME ME right?
Yeah I know.....it is not my life! Some one please shout this out 100 times more with me!
It is God's!
It is God's!!
It is God's!!!
I feel that we, as regular people....(surprise...I am NOT super woman here!) try to do so much on our own that when failure comes our way....our world falls apart. When in deed if we had NOT done it OUR way to begin with....and focused upon HIM, our circumstances would be totally different. This being said; I feel that if I don't share what I endure...others who are going through similar situations, may feel like they are the only ones who battle life's hardships.
NOT TRUE! With no further adue, here I am....as a witness...and maybe some of you can relate:
Being a military wife is.....HARD and anyone who tells us different has NO clue what SACRIFICE really is!
_____________________________________________
1. I hate deployments....with a passion and after enduring 7 of them.....I am so over it!
Yet I love knowing that my husband is away fighting for our country and can sleep soundly at night knowing that while my eyes are closed and my dreams are many, my hero is standing watch over my pillow.
2. I hate sleeping alone at night.
Yet I love how close I feel when I get a letter from him; and somehow alongside his fighting...he loved me enough to send me a piece of his heart in the mail.
3. I have no alone time to rest because I am the chef, maid, plumber, window washer, taxi, nurse, and teacher ALL as a single homemaking and homeschooling mother of 3!
Yet I wouldn't trade it for the finest treasures of the world, as we are to live in the world...NOT OF IT!
3. I can't stand seeing 2 coffee cups on the counter and having to put it's mate back into the cabinet.
Yet I am thankful for the fruit of my husband's rewards as he fills my cup every morning.
4. Going days, weeks, and even months (on occasion) not hearing from my husband sends chills up my spine and fills my soul with agony.
But I never would have imagined that it would be this type of separation that could bring me so close to the one who created my husband.
__________________________________________________
It is true...every rose has it's thorn and military life is at times, that thorn, especially when there are children who deal with it harder than we do. Knowing in all the trials, separations, lonely nights, and awful heartache in just well, ...not knowing; we have found that the best part in saying, "GOOD-BYE", means that saying, HELLO", is right around the corner!
Please be encouraged today in knowing that WE ALL GO THROUGH THESE FEELINGS but how we come out of it makes all the difference. Praying for each of us!!!!
Blessings!
Posts
